GRAPHIC DESIGN: WEBSITES • BROCHURES • ADVERTISEMENTS • CORPORATE IDENTITY • LOGOS • BUSINESS CARDS • STATIONERY • TRADESHOW GRAPHICS • PACKAGING • POSTERS • MAILERS • INVITATIONS • SLIDE PRESENTATIONS • ANIMATIONS • VIDEOS • SIGNS AND BILLBOARDS • CAVE PAINTINGS • BAGEL & CREAM CHEESE PAPERWEIGHTS • COPYWRITING: WEBSITE CONTENT • ADVERTISING • MARKETING COMMUNICATIONS MATERIALS • SALES PRESENTATIONS • DEAR JOHN LETTERS • BUMPERSTICKERS • POLITICAL SPEECHES • BLOGS • PARENTAL EXCUSES FROM SCHOOL • DISCLAIMERS • EVIL PROPAGANDA • PHOTO MANIPULATION: COMPOSITING • CLEANUP AND RETOUCHING • PHOTOILLUSTRATION • FABRICATED EVIDENCE • OTHER STUFF: MANAGING OTHER ORNERY CREATIVE TYPES • MAKING CLIENTS THINK IT WAS THEIR OWN BRILLIANT IDEA • CREATING VOODOO DOLLS OF PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES • PROOFREADING, EDITING AND JEDI MIND CONTROL TRAINING - HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME HIRE ME